Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Thoughts on the Irony of Parenthood

(taken last summer)

God likes to rightfully and with humor put me in my place by teaching me to have more compassion and patience for my messy little ladies. Today I got frustrated at them for spilling some of their dippin' dots ice cream and leaving perfectly round little chocolate stains on the rug. Fast forward to right now and I'm sitting on the couch enjoying my own dippin' dots when I knock the cup over and send all the little dots flying everywhere and making a bigger mess than both girls combined. No one is perfect, certainly not me. Lesson learned.

Growing up I couldn't wait to "move out so I can go to sleep whenever I want!" I was just a crazy night owl and got in trouble for it all the time. Well now I'm all "grown up" and moved out but have spent the past 3 years either not getting enough sleep because of babies or getting mad at the bigger versions of said babies for not going to sleep when I tell them to. Somewhere my parents are laughing at me. 

It's true that becoming a parent pretty much makes you crazy but you're also so far off the deep end that you would never dream of going back. It's like the madness has gone to your head, made a home and got comfortable. 

Half of you wants the time to speed up to when they're bigger! more independent! but the other half knows you'll never ever get these days back and want time to just stand still. Recently I was looking at Juliana's baby pictures and started tearing up because I would give all the money in the world to just hold her as an infant in my arms again for even a minute. It's not like she's 18 and married either, this was a short 3 years ago! Like I said before, motherhood is a the most bittersweet journey that I'll ever enjoy. 

In the midst of it all I am reminded how truly blessed I am. Some nights I'll quietly be sitting doing the usual like browsing on my phone or reading and I hear one of the girls take a deep breath in their sleep from their room. It reminds me that I have two healthy little girls, sound asleep, alive and well. There is so much that we can take for granted as parents so it's good to stop and be grateful for the little things.

Anyway, sorry of the ramble of a post. Sometimes I have so much to say but have a hard time spitting it out.  

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